01.09.10 @ 10:30 p.m. // until you did i never thought you would.
12/13/09: i told my boss to call someone to cover me the next day because i wasn't going to be able to make it. (at least i'm considerate.)
12/14/09: i washed three bottles of pills down with vodka and emetrol. i don't remember much of anything that happened over the next two days. i ended up in the ICU. after that i was shipped off to a different kind of hospital.
12/22/09: i was released from the funny farm. it was a sweet moment. i'll never again take for granted sunlight, shoes, or the freedom to pee without being watched.
12/23: intensive outpatient treatment commences. eight hours of therapy a day. it's kind of like a job, except you pay them instead of vice versa. total ripoff.
strangely, i don't recall youthfully pining for that day when i would be all grown up and moving back home because that's the only way i can pay my therapy bills.
anyway, whatever. i apparently suck at dying almost as much as i suck at living, so here i am. i highly recommend the funny farm if you enjoy wearing velcro shoes, hypothermia, the smell of bleach, or collard greens. evidently some industrious kitchen staffer bartered a killer deal on a lifetime supply of collard greens.
on the bright side, my GP had told me just three days earlier that i really need to get my blood pressure down. when i was brought into the ER, it was 50 over 30. next time she'll be more specific.
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