|
09.10.03 @ 3:53 a.m. // we saw him as a sort of poster child for safe sex.
pre-k to second grade, i went to two different private schools and one public school. i remember the people, the activities, the field trips, the halls, the 'food'... what i most definitely do not remember is learning. surely i must have learned something. i learned to read at home with my mom, i spent countless hours adding and subtracting m&ms at home with my mom, i learned my multiplication table at home with my dad. oh, you know, i learned about columbus at school. specifically, i learned to hate him. intensely. it seemed that every few weeks, history would default back to him, and a thick, despairing cloud would creep over the classroom. we didn't know what we had done to deserve such torturous monotony, but we were sure it must have been heinous in the utmost degree. we began to wish that young christopher had never been born. oh, that his mother had never conceived! of course, first and second graders communicate such opinions via exaggerated head hanging and various gutteral noises, but the basic sentiment remained intact. i don't believe i've studied columbus in any sort of structured setting since junior high, wherein i learned alternately that he was God's gift to the human race, and that he came to our shores with the strictest intentions of biting the heads off of kittens and stealing candy from indian children. the truth must lurk betwixt the extremes. perhaps he was just a guy with weird pants and a curious bent. perhaps he was only looking for wealth, although i doubt ferdinand and isabella would've been into some other vague reason like "oh, just because." which is precisely the reason i am telling you this story.  last | host | next |