11.16.01 @ 3:49 a.m. // the life and times

[edit 07/01/08 O canada!]

i was spawned in the year of our lord 1986. i really like to date things with "in the year of our lord," don't you? i think it adds spice. my boss never seems to think so. i don't know, he's weird.

i am the oldest of, well, many. MANY. my parents claim it was the cheapest hobby they could find, but i told them i was reasonably certain that had they fully thought this out, stamp collecting would've proven cheaper in the long run. in any case, i got a lot of younger siblings.

i live alone, with my cat elliott. she drives me crazy because she is not yet grown and kittens omg make me want to stab myself in the face. i like fat lazy cats, not spastic ADD kittens. also, yes, elliott is a girl. i wanted a boy. she shall be the son i never had!

i wonder sometimes if i may actually be crazy, but no, i don't think so. i feed and dress myself with relative ease. i go to work every morning. i pay all my bills; most of them on time, even. hell, i use semicolons. clearly i am a functional member of society. right?

i was sexually abused as a child. i've been raped. i tried to kill myself when i was twelve. i've had an eating disorder. the first time i cut myself on purpose was in kindergarten. i have a lot of scars. i went five years without crying. it's still really hard for me. i think that part of me is broken. this paragraph brings the former paragraph into light, i think, and also suggests that i should never embark on a career as a motivational speaker. "that's right kiddies, life sucks. buy my book. the pages have sharp edges to slit your wrists with." oh but i jest - i would never end in a preposition!

i have worked at the same place for four years. i will never escape. i try sometimes, but it's futile, and maybe that's just as well. you know how sometimes when you go to prison for a long time and get institutionalized, you think you want out, but you'd never make it in the real world? it's like that. i've come to accept that i will live out the remainder of my days under the fluorescent lighting of the pharmacy america trusts (since 1901!).

overall: i'm the most boring person you'll ever chance to meet.


The current mood of ibreathe at www.imood.com

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